A lot of the time, when you are dealing with people, we tend to only think about ourselves, and not those around us. There are some exceptions, however. People use the word ‘I’ more than ‘you’ or ‘us’. With that in mind, here are some principles to try that can instantly boost the way you interact with people, whether that being with your family, or for networking. Try out the following and take note of how your interaction improves. Please note, these will only work effectively, if you are doing it sincerely, it will feel fake otherwise, kind of like flattery:
- Smile – Seems simple enough, but I’ve talked to lots of people and they try to force their smile, which comes off as fake and weak, it’s the smile because-you-have-to smile. What I am talking about is the smile that grows when you haven’t seen your best friend in a really long time! You know that sincere, warm glowing smile? How can anyone feel non-receptive when you greet them like that? Smile, honestly and warmly and watch your results sky rocket.
- Offer sincere appreciation – How do you make someone feel important and valued? Well, whenever the other person has done something well, congratulate them sincerely and proudly. We love attention, so when someone else is giving it to us, we instantly gravitate toward them. This is a great way to help reinforce when one has done something well.
- Get people to talk about themselves – After reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence people, I have found that you can get someone to be more interested in you by allowing them to talk about themselves, then if you talked about yourself. This goes back to the previous point, it makes the other person feel important, because you have allowed that. How do you do this? Ask them questions, then probe some more, without it feeling like an interview.
- Do not criticise – This can be all to easy to do. You aren’t always going to agree with the other person, but everyone does have an opinion. If we automatically go straight to criticising then we get nowhere. Instead, if you step into the other person’s shoes and understand why it is they hold a certain view point, you can get to the heart of any problem very quickly. This is very important in business, workplaces and indeed in social situations.
- Step into the other person’s shoes – This one follows nicely with the previous point. Stepping into the other person’s shoes allows you to understand things from their perspective. Why do they feel anger toward that situation? Why do they feel unloved here? If you could only take a few minutes to do this, you will go very far in your quest to become the leader that you are.
There are more principles, but these are the ones that stick out to me. With all of this in mind, there are those who will be very difficult to converse with, but this challenge also stood in front of the great diplomats in our past. It is with diplomacy that we can break down borders and bridge relations!